Understanding Self-Harm: Compassion, Awareness, and the Path to Healing

Self-harm is a deeply misunderstood behavior that affects people of all ages, but especially adolescents and young adults. As a registered nurse working with teens in behavioral health, I’ve learned that self-harm is rarely about a desire to die—it’s often a desperate attempt to manage emotional pain that feels too heavy to carry. At The Maples, we strive to help families and teens understand self-harm and practice compassion, awareness, and the path to healing. Contact us today to schedule a consultation.

What Is Self-Harm?

Self-harm refers to intentionally causing physical injury to oneself as a way to cope with intense emotions, trauma, or feelings of emptiness. Common forms include cutting, burning, or hitting oneself, but self-harm can also take less obvious forms, such as restricting food, pulling hair, or engaging in risky behaviors. For many, it becomes a temporary release—a momentary sense of control in an otherwise chaotic internal world. Understanding what constitutes self-harm could help teens and their families determine a path to recovery.

Why People Self-Harm

People who engage in self-harm often struggle to express or manage emotions in healthy ways. Some common underlying reasons include:

• Emotional regulation: Using physical pain to distract from emotional pain.
• Trauma and shame: Reliving or punishing oneself for past experiences.
• Control: Creating a sense of control when life feels unpredictable.
• Numbness: Feeling emotionally detached and using pain to “feel something.”

It’s important to understand that while self-harm can be alarming, it often serves as a symptom of deeper emotional distress rather than attention-seeking behavior.

The Scope of the Problem: Key Statistics

Here are some of the most recent statistics from the CDC and partnered research that illustrate the magnitude of the challenge:

• Among U.S. high school students in 2021, suicide was the third leading cause of death for adolescents aged 14-18 (rate = 9.0 per 100,000) according to the CDC. (CDC)
• The CDC further reports that for young people (youths and young adults) in 2020, there were approximately 224,341 emergency department visits for self-harm, and the rate of ED visits among girls was around 514.4 per 100,000, roughly twice that of boys (≈200.5 per 100,000). (CDC)
• Among U.S. high school students (grades 9–12) in recent years:
  • ~40% reported persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness in the past year. (CDC)
  • ~20% reported seriously considering attempting suicide in the past year. (CDC)
  • ~16% reported making a suicide plan in the past year. (CDC)
  • ~9% reported actually attempting suicide in the past year. (CDC)
• The rate of suicide among persons aged 10-24 increased from 6.8 deaths per 100,000 in 2007 to 11.0 per 100,000 in 2021—an increase of 62% over that period. (CDC)

These numbers are sobering. They demonstrate that self-harm and suicidal behaviors are not rare and are increasing in many demographics. They also highlight significant gender, age, and racial/ethnic disparities.

How to Respond With Compassion

If you suspect someone is self-harming, the most powerful thing you can offer is non-judgmental support and compassion. Try these approaches:

1. Stay calm. Reacting with fear or anger may increase shame and secrecy.
2. Listen more than you talk. Allow them to share what they’re feeling at their own pace.
3. Avoid ultimatums. Threatening consequences often drive the behaviour underground.
4. Encourage professional help. Therapists trained in trauma, dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT), or cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) can help develop healthier coping strategies.

If someone’s safety is at risk—e.g., they’re talking about wanting to die or have a plan—seek immediate help: call emergency services or the crisis line.

Pathways Toward Healing

Recovery from self-harm takes time and patience. It begins with understanding emotional triggers and building new coping skills. In a facility like The Maples (where I work), our nursing and clinical teams collaborate closely with clients to create a safe, structured environment where they can learn emotional regulation, self-compassion, and healthier ways to cope. Healing is not linear—but every conversation, every moment of safety, and every act of empathy brings someone one step closer.

If You or Someone You Know Is Struggling

You are not alone. Help is available 24/7:

• National Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988
• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
• For LGBTQ+ youth: The Trevor Project 1-866-488-7386
• And remember: seeking help is a sign of strength.

Contact The Maples to Understand Self-Harm and How to Find the Path to Healing Through Compassion and Awareness

As a nurse working in adolescent behavioral health, I see how self-harm often serves as a silent signal—“I’m hurting on the inside, and I don’t know how to stop.” By bringing awareness to the statistics, recognizing the urgency, and responding with empathy and expertise, we can save lives and support meaningful recovery. Contact The Maples for help understanding self-harm and how compassion and awareness can illuminate the path to healing.